Sunday, May 31, 2009

day 92: coming out of the closet

Oops, sorry Tammy ... here ya' go, thrilled to know someone's still reading. ;)

Do you know where I found myself at 6:05 Friday morning? Sitting in my closet, eating a ding dong. And, as pathetic as that may sound, it wasn’t my first … nor was it my last that day (I also went on to eat donuts at the office, cheese enchiladas for lunch, more donuts on the way home and an Italian feast for dinner).

Sitting in my closet, not tasting the cake, but rather inhaling it, I shoved the last bite in my mouth just as the hubs walked in. BUSTED. Oops.

I chalk the non-stop eat-a-thon up to that fun little hormone surge that signals the start of the monthly yuck (some days I totally long for boy parts). Well, PMS and a complete disregard for my hot mama mission (and anything not related to food and/or its consumption).

In all honesty though, I’ve been a pretty bad little binger lately … so much so that hiding in the closet doesn’t come as much of a shock to me …

I did really well the week before … focused and determined. But with Cooper’s 2nd birthday BBQ bash last Saturday, well, I let the food fly … straight down the gullet, filling my gut until I literally cringed in pain. Niiiiice!

I know I’m an emotional eater, I know my triggers, which for most heavyweights is the greatest truth … if you know the problem, then you can seek to fix it (or avoid it, or have a plan in place to deal with it). But lately, I’ve given myself license to be weak.

But, as much as I know my issues, I also know how to get back on track — a project! So, I dedicated today as “garage clean-out” day. I love, love, love to clean out. Read: HATE to clean, LOVE to clean OUT. I’ve always found the purging of things and the organizing of stuff to be a completely cathartic experience. Plus, thanks to the early on-set of sweltering Texas temps, I could see the ding dongs and donuts literally sweating out of my pores. YAY!

Nearly five hours and a gallon of water later, I feel really, really good (well, emotionally anyway, physically my back and hips are reeling from the sudden exertion, but even that reminds me that I lifted something more than a ding dong today, who-hoo!).

There are about 3 weeks left in my office Biggest Loser challenge and I intend to make the most of them. I’ve lost (and gained) the same 11 pounds over and over since the start of the competition 9 weeks ago. And I know if I don’t work my rear off to get under 200 by the end of it, I will be completely disgusted with myself (not to mention, I’m still dying to zip up that damn zipper, lol).

It’s my goal to weigh-in at 193 at the end of Biggest Loser … that’s the number I was at last summer when I was totally on track. So, back to blogging (it always helps!), back to the gym and back to being the on-track me I know I can be…which means coming (and staying) out of the closet. ;)

p.s. We have weigh-in on Wednesday, so I’ll post then how far I am from goal. I started the challenge at 218. And have been at 207 off and on throughout … would love to hear from anyone else sweatin’ through the summer!

Friday, May 29, 2009

Update Coming Tonight!

Promise! ;)