Days 323-327 (enough is enough)

When you do really well at overhauling your life (well, in the eating/working out departments) and then suddenly derail for no apparent reason, it can be incredibly difficult to get back on track. I’ve tried (and failed) many, many times since August, but really, until you get your mind right, you’re just spinning your wheels.

Well, I’m tired of spinning. I’m ready to get going again. And here’s why:

1.) In mid January I’ll be working my company’s ginormous trade show (in Vegas, baby! Who-hoo) for a week. And, if I don’t get my endurance back up, I’m gonna’ be sweatin’ like a pig and be all kinds of exhausted. Not a purty sight (unless in the confines of a gym).

2.) We have to wear “uniforms” at the show, which I tried on on Friday. BLECK! The button-down shirts all the girls wear go up to a 2XL, but if your fluff doesn’t fit in that size, you have to slip into a totally different style shirt … HELL NO! I tried on the 2XL (it runs small) and it was tight across my back and across the ladies in front. Was NOT cute. Then I tried on the 3XL, it was huge … I looked 6 mos preggars. I REFUSE to be the only one wearing a different shirt simply because I can’t keep my hands off Ben & Jerry (don’t judge, they’re hot, lol!).

3.) Also in January, I’ll turning, dum-da-dum-dum-duuuuuuum: 30!!! I don’t want to walk into my 30s with the lingering doubt and insecurities of my 20s (which have taken up residence in my chins/cheeks/guts/girls).

4.) I made a promise last year that I would do this for Cooper. I would do this for Chris. And I would do this for myself. And I did, for awhile. But somewhere along the way I got tired of the fight and I gave up, gave in. And because of that, guilt follows me everywhere, as does my lethargy and feelings of inadequacy, ugliness and shame.

So, here I am, just a few days before the biggest feast of the year and I am resolving that tomorrow will be a new day. A new chance to start again. It won’t be easy, but nothing worth doing ever is, right?

My first goal is to lose the 17 pounds I’ve put back on by Christmas. That’s 32 days from now, a little less than half a pound a day. If I hit the gym and eat well, I know I can do this. I have to do this.

PICS:
The pants are Old Navy khakis, size 14 … they fit about three months ago.
The white tee is a plain jane shirt, also a size 14 … it too fit about three months ago.

I will be taking pics in this outfit once a week to track progress. As I'm completely mortified by these photos, I'm counting on the public humiliation I feel at sharing these online to keep me moving forward. (Fingers/toes/legs/arms are crossed).