This post is a bit of a departure from my typical food-related rants, but I felt compelled to share this post (which is also on my parenting blog):
Motherhood: it’s an experience fraught with contradictions. It is at once beautiful and messy, exhilarating and exhausting, amazing and agonizing. It is a winding journey that is so filled with certainty and uncertainty, with self-confidence and self-doubt that most of us never really know which way is up (or down for that matter … although crunch a Lego with your bare foot in the middle of the night and you’ll quickly remember).
That said, it is amazing to me that once we cross that threshold from womanhood to motherhood, that we don’t automatically assume a “solidarity” type of mentality. I think supporting our fellow mamas should complete our transformation — wider hips, droopy boobs, empathy for anyone who sleeps with Cheerios in the bed and wears snot remnants on her sleeve.
I’m the first to admit that my automatic compassion switch didn’t flick “on” when Cooper came out. But an e-mail I received tonight has made it clear that I need to super glue, nail, duct tape my switch to the full and upright position … I don’t ever want to be responsible for making another mom feel the way I do right now:
“You and Chris cannot tell me how much you love little Cooper UNTIL you show yourselves that you love him enough to stop the food addiction cycle.”
This is just a small portion from an e-mail written in response to Sunday's post.
It is the only sentence that matters.
I believe in my heart of hearts that the sender wrote out of love and concern. I know the intentions were good. But daring to question my love for my son … that simply negates any good that was intended.
I’m truly at a loss …
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
day 94: something to think about
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Oh my goodness! I am so sorry someone would say that to you. People need to think before they speak. Your food addition is about YOU, it has nothing to do with your love for Cooper. From what I have seen as I 'stalk' your blogs, you love your son beyond words. Please do not seek validation from others about your motherly love. And DO NOT go into the closest and eat ding dongs!!!!! Pick up your baby, hug him and kiss him, and reaffirm where your heart is!!!
Tammy
Ouch! Why do people impose that kind of thinking on those of us just trying to make the best of what we're dealing with, day by day? It was vicious and undeserved. Support should be positive - even if it's not what you want to hear - but it surely shouldn't be negative.
So, from a long-lost blog pal of sorts, let me say this: I convinced myself once that I was unfit to be a mother because I was overweight and hadn't done my kids many favors nutritionally. I became a food terrorist. My children were scared to death to tell me if they ate a school lunch for fear that I'd tell them how long we'd be at the gym that night to work it off. Somewhere along the way I woke up and realized that I certainly didn't love my girls less because I - or they - ate a ding-dong, whether I practiced my gluttony in a closet or loud and proud in front of everyone.
So many issues, so many answers - and yet none of us, not ONE of us, has them all. Too bad SlimQuick doesn't include the answers to all our problems in their little pills, huh.
You are truly an amazing chica to share with us as you do. You recognize your imperfections and make us all laugh because we can relate to your experiences and life. I've been keeping up with you and I'm still pulling for you gal - keep your chin up!
Hugs from KY....LSD
Post a Comment