TTTC: HCG Days 2-5

Day 2: The last day of my doctor-prescribed gorge fest went deliciously well and, really, how could it not when it involved the guilt-free consumption of a “few” of my favorite things: zebra cakes (bless you, Little Debbie!!) a Chili’s triple play (chicken crispers, cheese sticks, boneless buffalo wings) and the remaining slice(s) of brownie cheesecake. Smack. Slurp. Swallow. Sigh…

It was, save for my heinous sinus infection, a little bit of heaven.

And, then hell set in.

Day 3: Saturday, my first official 500-calorie day, started with my sickness ratcheted up by about a gazillion (I thought a steroid shot, antibiotics and mucinex woulda’ killed the nasty booger after a couple of days!). I was only in the full and upright position for about 3 hours (those were not consecutive). But, this was not the only source of my fun … the snot-induced misery was matched by the sudden and unrelenting explosion of pelvic pain.

Until Saturday, the pain-level during the three weeks prior had been tolerable. But holy Hannah … let’s just say there was tear-age … like full on crocodile tears. The progression is like it was last summer when endometriosis was suspected (and officially diagnosed via surgery in Oct), I just never expected it all to come rushing back with such force.

Like any good, hormonally challenged chica, I abided by my new eating methods until the pain was too great and I gave into a drive-through dinner at McDonald’s.

Day 4: Thankfully Sunday was better. I took my shot like a good little junkie, ate my 500 calories and went to sleep patting myself on the back (and sleeping on a heating pad) for a day well done.

Day 5: So far so good. I’ve been forcing myself to drink more water (I’ve never been good at this) and as soon as all remnants of snot leakage have left, I will start the difficult process of weaning myself off the diets (diet dr. pepper, diet pepsi, diet coke … my 3 BFFs). These aren’t on the HCG plan (that just hurts my heart) and so we must break up … but slowly. I can’t go cold turkey, it’s just too cruel.

Also waiting to hear back from the doc's office, re: surgery ... no crocodile face today, but if they can't get me in soon, they may become my permanent expression (how hot would that be!)

weight loss to date: 4 pounds in 5 days

TTTC: Fat Stats

A few things a friend should never (have to) say ... eek gats!

TTTC: HCG Day 1

Chocolate chip waffle. Breakfast burrito. Hash browns. Twix. Cheese enchiladas. Three Musketeers. Ice cream. Chicken parmesan. Fettuccini alfredo. Garlic rolls. Cupcake. Cheesecake. Bleck …

On a normal day, I’d say I’d just about blown my diet with this long, fat-laden list of yumminess. But, today is no normal day. Today is day 1 of the 70-day HCG diet. It’s called Force Feed and my friends, I have forced my feed until I can barely move. And I have to wash, rinse, repeat again tomorrow.

Last Friday I found out that I’d be heading back in for yet another surgery to remove painful endometriosis (and possibly my appendix and right ovary) — just six months after the last one. I didn’t think the pelvic pain would return so fast, but here I am … heating pad in hand.

Anywhoo, my dear friend Jeri Lyn, looking a svelte 15 pounds thinner since the last time I’d seen her (she dropped the weight in two weeks!) told me that she’d just started the HCG diet (google it for details … involves 46 shots and a very low calorie diet after two insane days of gluttony) and I was immediately intrigued. Facing another procedure and knowing that the best chances for baby would be in the window right after, I realized it was time to ramp up my weight-loss efforts. In a BIG way.

So, I talked to my doc (Jeri’s amazing dad, Billy Don) and decided I wanted to give HCG a go. It sounds insane (impossible!?) that there’s a diet out there that promises (delivers!?) a 1-3 pound weight loss each day, but stranger things have happened (hello, I did willingly eat lettuce the other day!).

Can't wait to see what the next 45 days hold (umm ... drop!). Bring on the hot mama. :)

PRE HCG pics (total yumness, I know... the hubs must be sooo proud)

p.s. Will post video tomorrow of Jeri going over my fat stats ... total greatness!

TTTC: oh, rejoice

Do you know what today is? It's a dieter's dream day. It's the one day a year where the powers that be have come together and granted us all guilt-free permission to indulge in the deliciousness of ... whatever we want!

Woo-hoo world, it's Eat What You Want Day!!! (no, seriously, click YUMMO for the full-flavored, calories-don't-count details.)

It's Christmas, birthdays and an amazing shoe sale all rolled into one perfectly baked cheesecake type of day!

Aww, I can smell the chicken parm now ... ok, I imagine I can smell it. A nasty cold and chest pain has me curled in the fetal position (next to my laptop) and unable to enjoy the greatness that is a junk foodie's delight, but perhaps I can get a rain check? A get one free card? A sorry-you're-sick-so-enjoy-a-week-rather-than-just-a-day pass?

TTTC: Whuz dat?

Picture it ... a mom and son cuddling in bed just before lights out, Wonder Pets playing softly in the background. Mom kisses son and says, "I love you." Son kisses mom, grabs her third chin and says, "Whuz dat, Mommy?"

Precious moment busted by blubber.

I told my inquisitive tot that it was my stuffing, to which he replied, "Oooooh, soft," and pet my third chin as if it were a baby bunny.

TTTC: Lettuce Give Thanks

I did something today, something huge, something I have only done one other time in my entire life…

I ordered lettuce on my sandwich!

I have loathed lettuce with every fiber of my being (and virtually all other fruits and veggies save for the “badder” ones … corn, potatoes, apples, pickles, ketchup — yes, the last two totally count!).

I have snarled and gagged and hidden the earthy foods when no one’s looking for 31 years. But, thanks to an amazing experience, this is no longer the case. Woo-hoo!

To overcome my fears, phobias and down-right detestation for all things healthy, I took the road less traveled … I saw a hypnotherapist.

I chronicle my journey in the June issue of DallasChild magazine (I’ll post when the article is available), but I was so proud of today’s milestone, I just had to share this delicious, leafy green taste of progress. Yum!

Bonus? Three weeks into my company’s Biggest Loser competition (we have weigh-day Wednesdays) I’ve officially lost 4% of my mass.

TTTC: Spanx You!

Aww, there’s nothing like a new car to make you feel … fat. For the past 10 years I’ve been in some sort of SUV — the higher-up stature lets one (regardless of mass) slide easily in and out of its seats. No ducking, tucking or squatting required.

The same can not be said for the car.

The car, I’ve quickly noticed, sucks you — every squishy bit of you — into its cushy seats and doesn’t let go.

This past weekend, the hubs and I traded in my Jeep Laredo for a Ford Fusion … (much) better gas mileage (I drive an hour each way to work — eek) and a smaller monthly payment. We’re whittling down expenses to make way for Baby No. 2 (we’re not preggars, just making plans) and the monthly savings will go far in helping to feather the nest — woo-hoo.

I LOVE driving my new mama mobile — it feels sporty and sassy and fun (and the interior is incredibly roomy) — but, getting in and out of it wreaks havoc on my psyche. You know that feeling when you pull off your Spanx at the end of a long day … that sudden explosion of self? Yep, that’s me, only my Spanx (in this case) is several tons of red-toned steel.

Guess we didn't just buy a mom mobile, we bought some serious motivation. :)

Third Time’s the Charm: Here We Grow Again

Well, well, well … look who’s back and bigger than ever!! Yep, it’s me … much, much more of me (I’m thinking Kirstie Alley and I are soul sisters).

Like any good addict (where’s the Intervention TV crew for the fatties??), I have well-thought out excuses for my relapse:

summer/fall: endured months of agonizing pelvic pain (I feed pain) and subsequent surgeries (I feed surgery) for a kidney stone and insane amounts of endometriosis

winter: my mom was in and out of the hospital for three months (I feed emotional distress) with her own major surgery (I feed other people’s surgeries)

spring: half-off sale on chocolate Easter bunnies and crème eggs (I feed chocolate euphoria) …

So, here I am, two burgers away from being back to my heaviest weight ever on record. It’s a proud, proud moment.

But, as they say, the third time’s the charm and I’m hoping/praying/crossing fingers this old adage holds true for me, the want-to girl with often little can-do.

stay tuned …