Day 269 (we made it)

I don't know how you'd begin to spell that breathy little sigh of relief you do as you dramatically swipe the back of your hand across your forehead, but if I could, it would be here (so just pretend).

I was so, so, sooooo relieved that Coop and I made it through the JDRF walk yesterday with no major meltdowns (his or mine). Without the hubs there to run parental interference, I was a little nervous that halfway through Coop might bug out on me.

But, yay! He was a total trooper. In fact, he sawed logs for most of the 3-mile walk/ride. And, because I'm clearly M.O.Y. (mom of the year), not only did I sign-up my 1-year-old to join me in a long walk at the crack of dawn, but I also scheduled seven (yes, 7!!!) back-to-back tours of homes for sale with our realtor (again, sans daddy as he was at the ranch working) just an hour-and-a-half later. Niiiiice!

But, he did amazing And, bonus ... hauling that little 20-plus pounder out of the carseat, up to, around and through the house (some of the floors were not fit for bare feet --eek!), back into the carseat and wash, rinse, repeat seven times in 90-plus temps had to burn some serious cals (who-hoo!).

Now, umm, just don't ask how hot I've done today (mum's the word, lol).


Cooper lovin' on Leesa, our JDRF team captain.


Coop "walking" it out in his "For Cade" t-shirt.


Zonked. Who knew a 3-mile ride could be so exhausting?

p.s. A huuuuge thanks to everyone who donated to JDRF, the event/experience was amazing.

Days 267-268 (one more time)

Before this year, I'd never participated in any kind of charity walk. Then, I became a mama and was suddenly overcome with the desire to give back, to pay it forward and to instill in Coop from day one that doing for the greater good is a beautiful, powerful, important part of life.

That said, tomorrow will be my third (and final) walk for charity for 2008. Coop and I will both be slipping on our walking shoes in the hope of raising money and awareness for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.

And, this one hits pretty close to home. A dear family friend, a precious 5-year-old little boy, was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes as a result of a sudden, life-altering medical condition, which landed him in Cook Children’s last year. Thanks to a great team of doctors (and amazing parents), he is now doing great, but it’s an ongoing battle.

So, in his honor and in honor of the other millions of children afflicted with this disease, Cooper and I will be walking it out. And we'd love to have your help.

If you can spare even a dollar, please visit my web page by clicking here.

Thanks everyone for your support over the past few months, you've helped this mama feel better than she ever has!

Days 260-266 (yes!)

Well, it only took me a week of saying I’d do it (and two months lamenting that I wasn’t doing it), but I am officially back on track. Who-hoo! It’s my third day in the gym and man is my body telling me my break was waaaay too long! YOWZER!

Monday I took my first yoga class and I felt like a total dumb ass. Clumsy and sweaty and falling all over myself, when everyone else was doing the “airplane” I was more like a jumbo jet headed for a crash landing. But, I pushed through the 60 minutes of downward dog and cobra and other crazy HA-inspired movements, finally ending with a “Namaste” and an exhausted muscular system.

Yesterday was weights and today was cardio and though my thighs are SCREAMING at me, I feel really, really good. YAY!

Oh, and I can please tell you how in love I am with the Lean Pocket! (Kudos to Gage for turning me onto them.) I believe the genius behind the Lean Pocket is 1.) the removal of some of the crap that goes straight to the thighs and 2.) the fact that, out of the microwave, the Lean Pocket is like a billion degrees … rendering even the hungriest of hippos completely unable to inhale without searing every inch of the mouth … now that’s portion control in a handy, dandy pocket. SWEET!

p.s. This is my 100th post about my hot mama mission! So glad I had something positive to report! NA-MAMA-STE! ;)

Days 258-259 (FVB)

Well, it always comes back to the best laid plans … I had hoped to hit the gym over the weekend, but that plan was blown outta’ the water by a sick little one who only wanted mommy. Then, I had hoped to hit the gym yesterday only to have my body consumed by some hideous flu/virus/bug (FVB, if you will) thing that’s had me curled in the fetal position on the bathroom floor (yes, it’s THAT kind of hideous FVB thing), in bed or on the couch for what is now approaching 36 hours (I’m still currently in bed as I type this).

UGH! Just call me A River Runs Through It. ;)

Last night I was called demented by my friend Hillary for knowing the following: I have lost six pounds thanks to my hideous little FVB thing. “Why are you weighing yourself when you’re sick???” she asked.

Um, because I have to find some silver lining to this nastiness in order to keep me from crawling out of my skin. And, if it takes a hideous little FVB thing to get my fat ass back on track and headed toward achieving my hot mama mission, then I’ll gladly take it.

And, well, yes, she’s right, I am just a little demented. ;) Now, gotta’ assume the fetal position and get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow I can actually make it to the gym …

Days 254-257 (walkin')

On Saturday I completed my second (ever) charity walk and, though Hurricane Ike threatened to send the Dallas area a nasty little tropical storm, the weather held out (just some wind and minor rain to contend with).

The 5K was the most my body has moved in, um, a month and if felt gooooood to get back out there (plus, being able to plod down the center of downtown Dallas without the fear of a hit and run was awesome!).

I didn’t make it to the gym to sign-up for a membership as I had hoped … Coop was running fever and coughing up a lung, so the fam stayed pretty close to home (I know, I know, excuses, excuses). But, I am happy to report that I printed a 7-day-check-it-out-to-see-if-you-like-it gym pass and am planning on joining some coworkers for a lunch-hour sweat session! Who-hoo! And, since I haven’t worked out in forever, I’ll probably be sweatin’ after just five minutes. Score!

I have two weeks (from today) until I have to go back to the cardiologist and I would love to shed the pounds I just plopped on by then. Little milestones …

Days 238-253 (let's talk)

It’s been 15 days since my last post …what can I say, I’ve been busy … stuffing my face.

I was putting my make-up on the other day and words and realizations started filling my mind … so much so that I had to stop, grab the laptop and get it all down. It was 6:47am, I needed to leave in 20 minutes, I wasn’t ready (not even close) and Coop was still asleep …

Before my shower I jumped on the scale. I knew it would be bad, I’ve been a baaaaad girl, but I didn’t expect double digits bad. I have gained 12 pounds since late July.

I have sabotaged myself and with every missed workout and every extra bite of food I knew it. I was making a conscious decision to do it.

And I’ve just figured out why. When you’re a hefty child who grows up (and out) into a hefty adult, a fat frame is all you’ve ever known. You come to rely on that fluff … though it may incur some rejection and/or disgust, it becomes your safety blanket, your shield for which you can hide behind.

And, at some point that blanket started to wear thin. And it made me nervous.

My entire life I’ve wanted to be the better, dare I say the best, at everything. But, here’s the thing, what if I finally achieve a healthy weight and realize I will never look any better, can’t be any better and I’m still not happy. Then what? I’ve used my weight as an excuse … but when the weight goes away, well, what happens then?

Rejection or the inability to achieve then becomes something personal, rather than physical.

I started blogging about my journey knowing that I needed to be accountable to someone other than myself. Well, that idea stops working when you stop blogging and start hiding. And, I realize now, that’s what I’ve been doing.

I’d like to send a huge thank you to Leslie and Tammy — blogging buds I’ve never met, but, who, through their recent “Where the hell are you?” comments, have brought me back to the blogosphere.

I wish I had something positive to share with you ladies in the world of weight loss, but I don’t right now. My freelance writing job is eating up the extra time I used to spend at boot camp and the gym and I know this is a huge part of my sudden down fall. But, as the hubs and I are both working side jobs to pad the house fund (we’re buying in December/January), something, somewhere had to give.

I’m hoping to join a new gym this weekend with a friend and workout buddy and find a new groove that successfully marries “real” work, “side” work, being with Coop, being with the hubs and being with myself … we’ll see how it goes.

p.s. FINALLY got my heart monitor on Tuesday. My episodes are pretty frequent, which is good right now … want to snag some good recordings for the doc so he will suggest surgery and FINALLY get this little issue over with. YAY!