Day 153 (ack!)

I’m just gonna’ be reeeeeally honest here. Like downright painful honest. Last week after boot camp, I was “it was freakin’ awesome” every five seconds (click here for back story). I was all optimistic and hearts and flowers and warm fuzzies about my renewed zest for my mama mission. I was riding some kind of crazy endorphin high.

Aaaaaaaaaand

then I crashed.

Hard.

Fajitas and chips and salsa hard. Pizookie and candy bars hard. Pizza and sausage sandwiches hard. No worky outie in 5 days hard.

I don’t know what’s happened, but I have become dependent on DS and boot camp to supply my motivation. I can no longer generate it myself. On the days that boot camp doesn’t happen, I literally can NOT force myself to workout, or to even eat well.

I have every reason to still be going strong. Chris is kicking ass. It’s hot as Hades outside, so who wants to get all bloated on food and then sweat walking from the buffet to the car? Coop is constantly on the move and I always swore I’d be the mom who could keep up. We have a family vacay coming up and I don’t want to be “that” mom who sits in the shade while everyone else is out living it up.

Sigh.

My desire to continue to lose weight and work hard is still there, but that desire is often trumped by some scrumptious-looking morsel of yumminess that would literally kill me if I opted not to stuff it into my mouth at that very moment.

I feel all lethargic and yucked out on crap food today. Thank goodness I have boot camp tonight. In 98 degree weather (which, according to weather.com feels like 100). I hope I can find that high again and ride the wave for a few more days.

p.s. The boot camp gals and I did just receive a workout routine from DS to do during the off days. Hopefully that'll be the jolt I need to get it in gear. But I wouldn't bet on it.