Day 60-62 (suck-u-bus)

I am a suck-u-bus. Not like the one in Webster’s world where a sex-crazed demon assumes the female form to do “laundry” with men in their sleep (I would need some semblance of a sex drive to do that, sorry honey! Lol!).

In my world, it means I suck all of the motivation, inspiration, desire and passion from my soul and fill the gaping hole with what else? Food.

I am so tired of my ramblings … ricocheting between “I’m all fired up and ready to tackle the fatty patty side of myself” to “Um, yeah, I ate my weight in cheese last night. Oops.”

Ugh. I’m now more than 60 days into my mission to become a hot mama and I am still sabotaging my do-gooder efforts at every turn.

I truly am my own worst enemy.

This past weekend I gave into every craving, every “I’ll eat it just because it’s there,” every “why the hell not?”

The end result?

Barfing in the bathroom at midnight last night.

No, this time it was NOT self-induced, well, not directly anyway.

At first I thought I had food poisoning, but since Chris never joined the puke party, I ruled that out. Then I thought I must be getting the stomach flu, but when does that ever release its death grip after just 5 short rounds?

Conclusion? I can’t fight my suck-u-bus mentality, so my body is gonna’ do it for me. I ate weigh too much and so I had to be taught a lesson. A rough one.

Well, all I can say is today is a new day. A chance to start again. As I write this on my lunch break (a whole-wheat pita with turkey and a vanilla yogurt) I can only hope that I can remain true to my mission: “To release the thin within.”